There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
