My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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