i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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