i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
