Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
