Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
she pinky promised me she was 18
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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