I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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