i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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