If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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