that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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