we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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