Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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