I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
