He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she told me i tasted like america
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
