exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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