I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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