please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
