In America we eat man semen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Help me help you realize you are a moron
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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