I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
