I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
