Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
