Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
