I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
love makes seman taste better
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
