I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
