Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
