Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We named our party play list daddy issues
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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