I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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