I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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