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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
