Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
