We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i would one night stand the shit outta him
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
