I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
