What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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