I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When are your genitals available?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
