I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.