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Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
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