is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
