Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  What a fucking waste of an outfit

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  (415): What a fucking waste of an outfit http://tfl.nu/q0u1
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (1289)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home

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  (416): Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home http://tfl.nu/32l0
  Replies (54) Good night (28022) Bad night (2921)
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  (760): View more from California

  I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work

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  (760): I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart (508): These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work http://tfl.nu/sac2
  Replies (15) Good night (7646) Bad night (964)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.

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  (919): You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume. http://tfl.nu/gckc
  Replies (46) Good night (13438) Bad night (1102)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night

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  (631): i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night http://tfl.nu/0bmo
  Replies (20) Good night (1153) Bad night (6892)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.

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  (305): I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry. http://tfl.nu/el5m
  Replies (65) Good night (1104) Bad night (4674)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.

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  (224): States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby. http://tfl.nu/to2g
  Replies (49) Good night (4297) Bad night (1411)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.

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  (605): He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth. http://tfl.nu/s2q9
  Replies (11) Good night (1573) Bad night (5871)
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  (518): View more from New York

  it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.

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  (518): it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime. http://tfl.nu/6fla
  Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (1873)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.

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  (402): I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted. http://tfl.nu/yox0
  Replies (27) Good night (8210) Bad night (1352)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me

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  (319): You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me http://tfl.nu/8yrv
  Replies (4) Good night (1892) Bad night (1316)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.

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  (843): To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming. http://tfl.nu/2tij
  Replies (6) Good night (3319) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.

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  (585): I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING. http://tfl.nu/4rg4
  Replies (14) Good night (1490) Bad night (473)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...

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  (603): I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you... http://tfl.nu/8249
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.

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  (513): I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that. http://tfl.nu/ttqm
  Replies (2) Good night (373) Bad night (295)

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