My friends, they love my intelligence
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad