a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
im holly from the hills drunk
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
