This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
