College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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