Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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