he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF