Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
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he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
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The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi