you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.