His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"