We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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