Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
