Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
