You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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