She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
