you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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