Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
