you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
