No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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