is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
