whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
