That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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