did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
