i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
