Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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