my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
