she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize