im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
